Saturday 31 July 2010

Fixing a wrecked motorbike.

Licking Wounds

As the motorbike crash wounds were healing I started trying do undo some of the damage done. My first job was to repair my phone. This bloke managed to salvage it for 1000bt.

Next was the bike. Here's the damage. You can see that the forks were caved in amongst a whole plethora of other problems. The whole thing is OK now and I got the bike back last Friday. However, I didn't drive it until I went to work on Tuesday - still shit scared you see!

Here's the other guy's number plate that I decided to keep as a souvenir. If the Thai police ever read this site I hope they now go and get the twat!


The week off work was unbelievably boring. I was so lonely. I actually managed to read 4 books. I went for tentative slow strolls around town. Here's a shot of the clock tower roundabout close to where my room is:

Look at this street. I am reminded of Brighton. This is a legacy of the historic Sino-Portuguese architecture abundant in Phuket Town.

The lads

Here we are on our end of the week session. From the left we have Mick (US), Derek (Can - who's also just had another little girl this week), Brett (US) and Bill (Can). I merely go along to provide some ethnic diversification.

This is a little later the same night. Here I am next to a massive plastic world cup with some sexy dancers behind me - canny!

The lasses

This is my friend Miaow. She treat me for dinner one night in an authentic Thai restaurant in Town. I was grateful for the company.

Here're the girls who look after the apartments. They were very helpful during my incapacity. They went and fetched medicine and food for me when I was in particularly acute pain. The best were the sleeping tablets. 'Gan' on the right drove me all over the Island on her day off! Thanks love!

This is mental Nicky dancing with the Katoeys down the infamous Bangla Road in Patong. Once this lass is out of her teaching tweed jacket and brogues, she mutates into some kind of PARTY ANIMAL. And I mean party in the same sense the Beasty Boys meant it! GO GIRL!

Ao Nang

On Sunday 25th July, one week after the crash, I headed to Ao Nang to meet Richard, Russel and Mike from Trang. We had a drunken two nights but it was great to catch up with old friends I've missed sorely. I bumped into Scott and his girlfriend from Phuket and they agreed to take me back in their car which was good.

I was at work last week and this weekend I spent Friday night in crazy Patong and Saturday with Maiow driving around the Island re-building my motorbike confidence. I finally got to Phuket's massive night market.

Tonight is Sunday 1st August and I'm off to meet a lass in Patong for a coffee. I treat myself today to a massive prawn salad followed by spag bol - nice. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight?????

Phuket's beautiful beaches

I have recovered sufficiently enough from a motorbike crash that I was able to drive to beautiful Nai Haan beach for a swim yesterday afternoon. I got a little sunburnt in the big waves trying to avoid the surfers. One wave knocked me over and sent my swimming goggles to somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

I've been on Phuket for 4 months and I can't believe how little I've been to the beaches?


I then met my ex-gf 'Oy' for a meal as the sun dropped over the horizon. We've settled our differences and hopefully we'll remain friends. She was upset that I never called her after my motorbike crash. I explained how she'd beaten my face black and blue only eight days earlier - hardly caring?

You boom boom best friend me

Oh yeah, she doesn't remember thumping me since she was drunk and the reason she left me was because, and I quote "You boom boom best friend me" and "You kiss many girl disco". This is bollicks of course but she claimed to have photographic evidence. I asked to see it but she'd conveniently deleted the incriminating (never existed) pics........mmmmmmmmm? She also never questioned her actual best friend about our illicit get together......mmmmmmm?


I quit smoking last Saturday - that's six days. In an attempt to make this the final ever attempt, I've decided to quit drinking for the whole month of August. So far so good. I feel better already although, as any ex-smoker will tell you, it's tough.


Another week of non-teaching this week. Why? Because we've just had 'Sports Week'. At my school I distinctly remember a 'Sports Day'! Next week we have Monday, Thursday and Friday off! I don't think I've taught any additional maths since May! I can't see me getting through half of the official curriculum.


One perk of Phuket is the cinema. This week I've seen 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice' and 'Inception'. I also finished one of the best books I've ever read: 'Hannibal' by Thomas Harris - awesome - couldn't put it down.


I want to own a better cell phone than my students. Chances of this? Nil.

Royal Navy

Peering through the repository of bullshit that is facebook, I came across this photo from 1991 (when I was 17). 32 blokes joined this group and only 14 finished the 3 months of basic training. Some lucky lad won a plaque with an embedded shoe!

Then I got thinking about that famous song "In the Navy you can sail the seven seas". I joined the Navy 'To see the World'. That's what I told them at the careers office. They assured me I would indeed 'see the world'.

However, they failed to explain I would have to spend four years in a Naval Engineering college before serving on nuclear submarines. I've seen far much more since I left the RN than I ever would have staying in.

In my Naval career of ten years ('91-'01) I went to a war (Yugoslavia 1994) on HMS Coventry and spent more than two years of my life submerged under the Atlantic on HMS Victorious.

If, like me, you want to "See the World", do it independently. You have the added advantage of doing things on your own terms too. For example, you might want to stay somewhere longer than the schedule will allow.


ลงชื่อ = longcheu = signature
ชั่วโมง = chua mong = hours
โรงเรียน = rong rien = school
อาจารย์ = ajarn = teacher


  1. "In Chinese tradition, the fifteenth day of the seventh month in the lunar calendar is called Ghost Day and the seventh month in general is regarded as the Ghost Month (鬼月), in which ghosts and spirits, including those of the deceased ancestors, come out from the lower realm"(wikipedia) See a Buddhist monk for blessings if you have not already done so. Better be safe than be sorry!

  2. Too late for that. I think he'd be better off seeing a shrink!

  3. A Shrink?! What that guy needs is an Exorcist!!