Sunday, 31 August 2014

Chiang Mai Birds, Booze, Bikes and Bullshit.


I've been dating recently but still haven't met the 'right' one. I'm beginning to think the 'right' one doesn't exist. As rare as unicorn shit. I'm not really sure why I'm bothering as I still have zero desire to relinquish my freedom.

Perhaps I'm one of those eternal bachelors (or a MGTOW)? I've met many married men who feel hopelessly trapped. It's like their very life-force has been systematically drained. Additionally, I've met many men who've been financially and emotionally destroyed by women, so much so that I've become very wary of becoming a disposable man-slave. Perhaps the best option is to pay as you go? Variation is the spice of life and all that.


My so-called retirement has taken a few knocks recently. I took some part time work at a local school where I've been busy implementing an online resource for the students. I teach 400 kids in 11 classes and it's been a challenge instructing them in the use of this software.

I've also accrued more private classes as word gets around. I enjoy tutoring on Saturdays. I get to ride out to the suburbs and meet new people. I can't seem to forget my 10 years in the Royal Navy. I laughed when I realised the question I'd written the other day.


I've had some major falling-off-the-wagon incidents recently. Paddy from Birmingham is partly to blame. I first met him in Phuket in 2010 and reunited when he recently moved to CM. To the left he's trying to win some whiskey in a raffle. To the right we were watching the AVFC-NUFC bore draw.

I like to sit in little shops and shoot-the-shit with the locals. A great chance to practice Thai and learn Asian wisdom. I can't remember either of these photos been taken.


Chiang Mai immigration is the single biggest ball-ache about living here. Governments create administrative hoops for us to jump through and then provide a system unfit-for-purpose to deal with it. The Ted Shed is terribly understaffed. It's by far the worst one I've been to in Thailand. A 90 day report took 3 hours. Another time I arrived at 0830 to do a visa extension and they laughed, telling me I need to come again tomorrow at 0600. 0600? Are you crazy? You open at 0830.

I returned the next day at 0545 and already the queue was long. I had to wait all day to be seen. However, I was glad to meet Malcolm from Durham who kept us entertained during the ordeal.


Pleased to reach the 50,000 hits milestone.


I finally replaced the brakes and tyres after 35,000km. Total cost 4,500THB = £90. I enjoyed a day with the Mechanics - it reminded me of being in the Engineering workshops at Faslane.

Armed with new tyres and brakes I was off on 1500km of bike trips.

The recently planted rice fields of Doi Saket and an interesting bus stop.

Butterflies and cups of tea at Doi Pui.

Hmong tribe bamboo crossbows at Doi Pui. These are lethal. 10bt for three arrows. You wouldn't want to be in the way of one!

Finally found the Flight of the Gibbon on a remote route to the wilds of Lampang


Chiang Rai lads in remote NW Lampang Province.


I bought a new bike jacket from Stefan in Nakon Si Tammarat for 2,500THB. I tried it out on a 400km loop through Lamphun, Lampang and Chiang Rai followed by the breathtaking 600km Mae Hong Son two-day loop.

Malcolm in the middle - of nowhere.



When off the booze/tabs I've been jogging. I ran 10km in 48mins and 2.4km in 10m10s. It's taken 10 months to get to that level, nevertheless, I feel proud. Admittedly, after a binge, the times are nowt like these! Still not bad for a 40+ old bastard.

CMFC might get promoted. I watched them draw 2-2 v Ayudaya which was the first time I saw them NOT win. Gutted.

Language classes are going well and still being enjoyed. I wish I'd gone to classes when I first arrived in March 2009. I'd probably be fluent by now. As it is I'm merely intermediate. 


You get one shot at life. Make it count. Pursue your dreams.


อาบอบนวด = aab ob nuat = soapy massage. Mint.
นวดน้ำมัน = nuat naman = oil massage. Mint after a run or long ride.
สินสอด = sinsod = a dowry (fee) a man pays a woman for the 'privilege' of paying for her and her family's shit for the rest of his life.


  1. Love it when you tell it as it is. Last time I checked in with your blog you had stopped drinking...sorry you relapsed. But have to admit that it makes for interesting reading :)
    Frank (bbqboy)

  2. Ps. If I have a complaint it's that the photos really small and when click to enlarge it asks me if I want to open or save - when I click open it opens some kind of text file...maybe you have a bug of some kind.

  3. Just been checking out your blog Frank. Great stuff. Yeah, I don't quite know what to do about the photos. If I want to see more detail I use the zoom feature on the Google Chrome browser. Not the best. Currently planning a trip to Nepal for Feb/Mar 2015. Looking very forward to that!! Keep travelling.
    All the best,