Sunday, 10 March 2019


First thing I did in 2019 was fit a new chain. What a difference! Like a new bike.

Performed sea-trials by riding 400km around the south of Thailand.


Dropped in to see me old marra Stefan ..... and Aussie Jo ..... the new lad in Trang.

Lizzie and Holly somehow found a pair of boxing gloves and a balloon in a HISO Italian restaurant.

There was an array of baffling condiments. No idea what half the shit drizzled on my "Prosciutto-wrapped grissini breadstick" was? Himalayan-rock-salt sticks in my mind ........ hard to forget a mouthful of gravel.


Another weekend I rode 30km along the Thai/Malay border-wall between Dannok and PedangBesar. I asked a few Thai/Malay Muslims if they thought the wall should be torn down as it might be racist? They looked at me like I was retarded. Seemingly only former-white nations are brainwashed into feeling guilty about secure borders. Common-bloody-sense everywhere else on earth.

I have great respect for Thai immigration policy. Keeping Thailand Thai. Maintaining Thai culture and protecting Thai citizens. Good on em.

On one of these jaunts around the Hat I met Boy at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. He used to work in a nightclub on Bangla Road (Patong, Phuket) and therefore speaks a bit of Angleeski. Good crack.

He's got reet fancy bags on his bike like. Posh bastard.


A bit crack with German Faulkner in the Hat before a return to Pattaya. It'd been 7 years since I lived there. Stolen laptops, barfines, massages, gogos, lady drinks and washed-out-falangs ran through my mind as I flew to Utapao International Airport.

I wasn't aware of a HDY-UTP flight until I picked up Armin at Hat Yai airport. I assumed he'd arrived from DonMuang but he'd come direct from Pattaya!! 
The next day I'd booked return flights (1.5k) and a room for 4 nights (2k) smack bang in the heart of the action. Happy days. I was looking forward to this trip as I had a few quid burning a hole in me sky rocket.

Utapao airport is next to Sattahip Naval base so it was no surprise to meet some young Thai Navy dudes from Pattalung at Hat Yai airport. A lengthy discussion ensued about all things nautical (where the limits of my Thai were tested). This lad is 19. Reminded me of myself almost three decades ago when I joined the Royal Navy from school.

The highlight of the trip was meeting Rob. We'd been online mates for around 6 years but had never met face to face. Rob and I joined the Royal Navy on the same day back in 1991. The difference being he completed the full 22 years. Fair play as I'd had enough after a decade.

Anyhow, turns out we have quite a bit in common. We both love Thailand and can both read Thai. We're both Geordies. We were both in the RN. We both like following our local Thai footy teams. Had a couple of great nights listening to his dits about Pattaya and the RN. Hadn't heard any JackSpeak in decades! Great crack.

Caught Armin and his Mother briefly where they dragged me to Starcucks for a $5 cup of mud. Twas nice sitting in the AC with splendid views of the beach. I think this might be his final visit to SEA as he seems to have shacked up with a Euro-bird. Good luck to em.

I really enjoyed Patts. Arrived back in the Hat feeling refreshed/drained in every conceivable way. It truly is a bachelor's paradise. As long as you have money.


I've always been frugal and my cheap-ass room is no exception. This salubrious bed/bog combo sets me back $120/month all in. However, the landlady runs an efficient ship and has replaced mattresses, lights and even door locks promptly. A bit odd being locked out of my humble abode for a few hours one night!!

She was worried that I'm not showering properly as her paperwork shows I've only used 1.5m^3 of water each month whereas the wasteful occupants of the other 60 rooms consume around 4m^3/month. As I'm the only foreigner here (and therefore representative of every foreigner on earth) she probably thinks the rest of the world is minging hehe. I explained about shower rationing on submarines and even the negative environmental impact of excessive use but she didn't seem to GAF.

It occurred to me that I've been eating out in Thailand for 10 years. I haven't washed a dish in donkeys - cool. I did a double take as I rode past this sign one day. The highlighted bit says "Sateeb". I'd never seen my name written anywhere in Thailand so stopped to record this prestgious event. Yes. It was worth it.

The Rice Rocket celebrated its first birthday with a 24,000km service. It's quite a biggie and set me back 4k. New plugs, oil/air filters and coolant among other things. Since I was waiting forever I found a dentist to get the pearly whites cleaned and it turns out I need 6 fillings!! Booked for next week. Dreading that.

Was eating scran at an old wifey's shack when I noticed this magnificent sunset. Another morning I slurped coffee marvelling at this sunrise. Then I remembered I haven't drank piss for 70 days. Being of clear mind allows one to appreciate the simple things in life.

Keep living the dream.

PS. No Pattaya pics as this is a family website.

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